Lusting my Cousin

My cousin and I have always been close. We are only nine months apart, compared to the three years we were to our closest sibling. We would hangout, while our older brothers would go off and do there thing, and we would do our thing. Our thing, though we were only about six or seven, was to fool around. We would play hide and seek, only we would always find a spot to hide together, and kiss, and lay on top of eachother and dry hump and stuff. I'm not sure who started it, ( I'm pretty sure it was her, Tammy) but soon it was all we wanted to do. Until we got caught kissing in the elevator by our moms when we were around 10, than we got the TALK about how incest is bad and all that, and our parents started watching us a little closer.
Being caught and embarrassed was enough for us to slow down, and I'm pretty sure we did. And then my Aunt moved out of the Province to B.C, and I hardly ever saw my three cousins anymore. So, with the limited knowledge I had picked up with girls, at ten, I was able to always have a GF, and fool around with them and things. But at ten, nothing but kissing and holding hands really.
One summer, my cousins had comeout to visit with their dad, who lived just down the street from my house. On hearing this news one day from a phone call, I got down to his apartment as fast as I could. When I got there, It was only my to younger cousins, Tammy and her little brother Alex, and there dad, who was always sort of an asshole. With my Uncle, you never knew if or when your going to get a swift kick in the ass.
So I'm hanging out with my cousins, catching up and stuff, and my uncle comes into the back room and asks if anyone wanted to come with him to the store, I'm thinking the liquor store ( he had a problem) and Alex enthusiastically says yes and my cousin Tammy and I decline.
That leaves my cousin and I alone together. I seriously wasnt thinking that day, and I've regreted it everyday since. You see, as soon as the door closed, Tammy jumped on the bed and layed on her back, looking up at me, and said " You want to do IT?"
" Do what?" I asked. I already knew, but I remember I had a GF at the time, and I was thinking about how your not allowed to cheat on your GF, and I was a little surprised. And the thought of being caught was too much for me, so I played dumb.
" You know.... IT." She stated, with a little eagerness in her eyes.
It hurts me to say, but right then I made the worst decision in my life. I'm shaking my head right now, just thinking of all the fun I could of had in my teens, and even now maybe, if only I had said yes, and did what I wanted to do all those years ago, and not what I thought was right. I embarrassed her with rejection, and that closeness we shared no longer seemed in effect.
Skip three years ahead, or about two and half. I was now 13, and had just moved to B.C to live with my mom. The only family we had was my aunt, and I would go over and hangout at their house every weekend. I had developed a good friendship with my younger cousin Alex, and we would do most of the activities, biking and stuff. But I was at an age where I couldnt stop thinking of girls. And there just so happened to be one of the most attractive girls just hanging out with us. I couldnt stop looking at my cousin Tammy now. And also thinking about time she asked me to do IT with her. Now I was scared she would turn me down, and I couldnt gather the courage ever to see if she would fool around with me. At this age, we were old enough to know Incest was bad, and we would really get in shit if we were caught.
The first year was not that bad. But a couple years later, when Tammy and I were 15, things started to get pretty rough for me. Not only had she started to develop a body with curves in all the right place but she started flirting with me again. Weird things that I couldn't really be sure if she knew what she was doing to me or not. When we would be at the dinner table, I would feel her playing footsies with me, or was she just accidentily bumping my foot with her swaying feet? I would try to play back, but a subtle as possible, and she never pulled away or made a big thing about it, leaving me in dark. Or, when we were watching a movie on the couch together, she would sometimes rest her legs on me, or place her hand on my leg as she was getting up. A combination of these things had sent my head spinning, and I found my self following her ass as she left a room, or eyeing up her legs when she wore a bathing suit, not to mention, imagining how her breasts felt, at 15 I still hadnt felt a girl up yet.
One weekend, after my eldest cousin moved out, Tammy was moving into his old room after having to share a room with her younger brother for the past three years. This is where the story gets a little more intersting. Now that Tammy had her own room, she had put two beds in there, so she was able to have slumber parties with her friends. One night, while I was visiting, and we were all ready to go to bed, Tammy asked why I couldnt just sleep in her room, since there was two beds in there. At first my Aunt had said no, but than Tammy simply stated " We're cousins, it not like we're going to do anything!" I hid my dissapointment, but it was enough to win a mild argument, and for the first time, I would sleep in the same room as my sexy cousin.
That was an interesting night, after she had changed into her PJ's, which were those cotten Pjs with shorts and a T-shirt, and those shorts really showed off her gorgeous legs. I remember her calling me in after she had changed, and as I walked in she had her back to me, reaching up to get the blinds and it sent me into a frenzy. Her ass and legs were showcased, and I was all alone with her in her room. My head spun. The beds were seperated by about a foot, and I was already thinking about putting them together, but I couldnt make a move. As we layed down to go sleep, Tammy turned to me and we started talking, about school and friends, and she asked me if I had a crush on her freind, who I had met I week before. I denied, even though I probably did. Eventually we both drifted off to sleep.
I awoke for some reason in the middle of the night that first night, and was feeling exceptionaly horny. Obviously I was thinking about the girl that was sleeping about a foot away from me, close enough for me to touch....
I had never felt boobs before, and Tammy's boobs were right there. Would she wake up if I just felt them lightly? I had to find out. I propped myself up on one elbow and scooted closer to my sleeping cousin. Whe was sleeping on her back, and you could tell she had no bra on under the thin fabric of her shirt. I hesitently reached my hand out, very slowly and nervously toward her breasts. They were not big, but a B cup, and still very firm as they were still developing. After a few agonizing moments, debating in my head between right and wrong, but enevitalbly, my raging hard on won the battle. I cupped her right breast, and held my hand there cherishing this secret moment. It was soft and warm, and I could feel her hard nipple protruding out her shirt. I looked down at her face, which was silent and beautiful, peaceful. Staring at her lips was starting to take effect now too, and I struggled not to move in for a gentle kiss.
Suddenly she moans, and I go frozen. My hand is still in place, so I start to inch it away anticapating her awakening. But, to my relief, she just sighs and turns on her side, facing away from me. My heart is beating like crazy, and I'm just to about to come to my sences when I notice as she rolled over, the blanket had slipped off one side of her legs. Her bare skin exposed and her ass was right in front of me. Once again I through caution to the wind and got a little closer to my sleeping cousin. I put my hand very gently on her leg, and very slowly slid it from the back of her leg, to her thigh. I could feel the heat coming from her pussy, only inches away from my fingers. Too go any further is beyond my boldness, and I retreat my hand from her smooth thigh, but only to bring it up to her perfect ass. I've always wanted to grab her little heart shaped ass. It has some meat on it, but no J Lo or nothing, just nice. Tight, and firm. And now I was cupping her ass, just letting my hand take in everything. It was unlike anything I have ever felt.
By this time, my hard on was starting to kill me, and I had to grab one of her shirts and go back to my bed and bust one out. It was one of the hardest cums I've ever had, and I ended up throwing out that shirt before shIe saw it again.
Over the next two years at that house, I had a few nights like that, like three or four. One time, on a paticularly hot night, my cousin had slept with no blanket, and I found myself feeling up her leg, and getting a little more bold. Maybe because one night I got it in my head that Tammy was fake sleeping, but I wasnt sure if I had woken her, or she was awake the whole time I was feeling her up. On this night, she was sleeping in her shorts, and her legs were slightly spread open. I got right up close and put my hand on her thigh. Than I started actually rubbing her thighs, as if to please her, and I swear I heard her moan, and I thought I saw her lick her lips, but it was dark. I convinced myself she was awake, and she liked what I was doing. So I went a little further, until I was at the leg opening of her shorts. I was crazy horny, and I wanted to feel her pussy. I put too finger under her shorts, and was instantly met with a hot, wet pussy, the first I had ever really touched. As soon as I felt the tip of my finger penetrate her pussy, I nearly came, and I had to go back to the bed and pop a nut, probably both, and, just like every other time, found myself satisfied and slept.
The next day however, I was a little nervous around Tammy. Luckily it was the day I was going back home, and I could avoid her until next weekend. But I was so scared about how far I took it, that I never really did that again.
Until that is, a couple of years later when I was partying with my cousin, now we were seventeen, and drank and smoked weed and had fun. It was new years, and we had lots of friends over, but by the end of the night, after everyone had gone home, my cousin asked me if I was spending the night. I said yea, I was pretty drunk, and she said " Well, you can sleep in my room if you like."
I thought it was a little weird, because now Tammy only had one bed in her room. She must of saw the look on my face cause than she said " You can sleep on the floor...." but did she leave that last part open? I couldnt believe it. Though I had stopped my nighttime activities, as still lusted for my cousin. And now she was older and had really filled out. Well, her legs are still her best asset, after her Awesome personality of course, and I mean that, she really is a awesome person, and she dressed sexier too. And now I've been with girls, and knew what kind of fun they really are. I looked at her, and thought about how much I wanted her, and said sure.
When we were in her room, she went to bed with just panties and a long T shirt, which made her look incredible sexy. Her dirty blond hair was tied up, and her green eyes seemed to be inviting me into her bed. But, I took the floor, and got ready for bed. It was a long night, and I somehow fell asleep without jumping into bed with her.
The next morning, I was pretty sore from sleeping on the floor. My cousin saw how sore, and offered to give me a back massage. Like, wanted me to lie down on my stomach, and she would massage my back. For some reason, I said no. I must have knew I wouldnt be able to control myself, but once again, I'm shaking my head. Why the fuck Can't I take the step?
Now its ten year after that, and I still get mixed singnals from Tammy. We are still very close, and I see her often. She's married, and has a son, but I still lust after her. She is even more gorgeous now. And I mean Gorgeous, or beautiful, not Hot or skanky. She's always had that air about her. But I do still get these weird signals, like she's always rubbing her boob on me, or her leg. Subltly, enough to make me go crazy. Anyways, thats my story, and there is a lot more if anyone wants to hear more, but, really I just wanted to get this off my chest. Its been a secret I carry for a long time.